The Villa Week #9: Que Sera

Are you sure you’re capable of keeping up to date with Villa. To be blunt, I don’t think I am. I’m using this column as a learning exercise. Can James Rushton digest everything that happened to Villa in the last week? The answer - maybe, and this column is my test.

I would very much like to start off this column by saying that I’m ready for the play-offs

There.

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This week in automatic promotion

Villa can achieve automatic promotion by beating Fulham on Saturday.

There it is friends.

Middlesbrough

Get absolutely f**ked lads. Try again soon lads (we might see you next season, so I apologise in advance for those comments don’t hit m-).

Adama

I have to get things straight. I really like Adama Traore.

However, I like Adama Traore in the same sense that I like Finnegan’s Wake. It’s meandering, barely legible, takes someone else to digest and spit it up for you.

In fact, I don’t like Finnegan’s Wake at all. It’s shite. It’s pointless. It exists just to exist.

It’s Lewis Grabban

Photo by Ashley Allen/Getty Images

Yes it is.

#AVFC

Let us enjoy a momentary interlude to check in on a tweet in #AVFC world.

You know in Peep Show when they have the dog in a bin bag and say that it’s barbecue?

Yeah.

#FULFORCE

Some of the Fulham banter has been outrageously bad. It’s the type of banter you’d find next to the manchego in Waitrose. The type of banter that has a kid called Hugo Charles Witherbottom. The type of banter that pays 14k a year for schooling. The type of banter that asks for the manager. The type of banter that doesn’t tip.

Honestly. But some of it has been good, because most Fulham fans are self-aware and creative, unlike that lad who supported Wolves, printed off a ton of masks before blocking anyone who dared highlight the error of his ways.

Villa Youth

Someone hit the bong hard when they named this tournament. It’s not just the Premier League Cup, nor the Super Cup, nor the Floodlit Cup, it’s the PREMIER LEAGUE SUPER FLOODLIT CUP FINAL NORTHERN SECTION VS SOUTHERN SECTION.