20 signs that we (Aston Villa) should end it with Steve Bruce

It’s time to be brutally honest. As things stand, this Steve Bruce joint at Aston Villa isn’t working out. It could work out in the future? Maybe, but looking at all the evidence we have right now? It’s not happening.

Sometimes, relationships do not work out and hey, that’s ok - it’s part of life. I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy about Bruce lately, and hey - maybe it’s time to cut the cord. I researched about the ‘end of relationships’ and found this, 20 SIGNS THAT YOU SHOULD END IT - from Match.com. What can these tradespeople of online love tell us about our failing relationship with Steve Bruce?

1. You’re always craving time alone

I don’t like going to Aston Villa anymore because it’s toxic. We just boo all the time and fucking hell, I just want out. Not forever, just for a little bit. Ten years of dire football takes its toll - especially when you could be doing awesome things. I could be building myself, but Steve is taking it out of me.

2. You don’t go out together any more

We haven’t been to Wembley since Sherwood. This isn’t good enough Steve. No. Don’t cry. I’m sorry, but things need to change..

3. You prefer seeing your friends to seeing your partner

Any relationship worth its salt involves socialising outside of the confines of the relationship. To love Villa, we need to be without Villa for a little bit. However, when the time comes - and we prefer spending time away from Villa (as almost 12,000 people do), we have an issue.

4. You’ve stopped having sex

Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images

5. You’ve stopped touching each other

Loving you

Isn't the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feel

If I could

Maybe I'd give you my world

How can I

When you won't take it from me

6. You’ve stopped kissing

Photo by Harry Trump/Getty Images

7. They no longer make you laugh

Steve Bruce used to be funny in press conferences, but the gallows humour is setting in and it’s getting scary.

8. You don’t chat

No more in-depth press conferences, he’s gone after a game to probably drown his sorrows in kebab meat. Tell us what is going wrong.

9. You’re always nit-picking

Guilty. We’re Villa fans though and hey - we might not be fickle. We might not like you!

10. They're always nit-picking

If your partner seems constantly irritated by you, it suggests that they're not happy or even comfortable around you. They may be wanting out, but haven’t the courage to bring up the subject. If he or she makes you feel that you can’t do anything right, do you really want to be around this person?

11. You do all the chores

It seems like Villa fans do all the hard work. Look at Alex Carson and his xV series? You can’t tell me Villa don’t know what is going on? Do something Steve... Please!

12. You don’t care about your appearance

Photo by Jan Kruger/Getty Images

13. Red letter days are forgotten

Saturday, 3pm? It’s sacred. Don’t expect Villa or Bruce to give a shit though.

14. You’re doing all the giving (or all the getting)

Aston Villa fans have a sterling reputation, especially away from home - but where’s the reward in all of this? When did Villa last put in a 10/10 game away from home?

15. You’ve stopped liking yourself

Everyday I stray further from God’s light thanks to Bruce and this fucking football club.

16. Your friends think they're bad for you

Do you think there’s a club in this league that sucks it out of you as much as Villa? No - your mates don’t either. Go out with them.

17. You compare them with other men or women

18. You look up your exes

19. You wish they'd change

I think everyone wants this to work out, but it’s not. We need more from the football and the formation and we all want change. However, we can’t change Bruce.

20. You say “I love you” but don’t mean it

Sorry Steve, but it’s gone.