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Aston Villa have consumed the soul of Tony Pulis

He’s dead, Jim.

Port Vale v West Bromwich Albion - Pre-Season Friendly Photo by Clint Hughes/Getty Images

This is to strange to admit as an Aston Villa fan - but I am really worried about Tony Pulis, the manager of West Bromwich Albion. He’s got an addiction, and he needs help.

He can’t stop speaking about Aston Villa, who haunt his soul day in, and day out, for some reason. After some playful banter years back when he wanted to cosy up to WBA fans by pretending to be them, the Welshman’s act has come apart, like his team after they stutter to 40 points and settle in for a second half of mediocrity.

Tony had been in rehab over the summer, and there almost wasn’t a mention of Villa. Almost. Tony has been a bit naughty you see. After promising his loved ones that he’d go sober all summer, they’ve found a gram in his pocket after his laundry was done on his return. There was a spill earlier, but he was forgiven - now, he’s going to get kicked out of his house and he’s only got himself to blame.

"I watched a lot of games last weekend, with our illustrious neighbours starting a week earlier than us.”

Like an addict he went back to his habit, and the Baggies faithful played the part of the family, hoping that their loved one had finally kicked their demons to the curb, they only found disappointment.

After Pulis’ comments, there was no anger - not even from both sides. ‘Please stop it Tony’ was the only thing you’d hear. ‘This has to end’ as well.

Let’s go into this, again.

"I watched a lot of games last weekend, with our illustrious neighbours starting a week earlier than us.”

Instead of rummaging through tape, doing something productive, or you know, preparing Albion for the 2017/2018 Premier League season, Pulis sat down to watch Championship football, and you can bet he was watching Villa, unless dodgy Tony is on some kind of hookup. This is scary.

Albion fans - your manager is a husk. Hipster fans of Pulis, stop your worship of this man. He is nothing more than the Saint of Killers from Preacher, but instead of chasing Jesse Custer to the ends of the Earth, he chases Villa (who are currently a worse team than his team, but hey - who cares - this is Pulis’ career).

This isn’t a dig, think about it, if your manager has said 899,000 words in press conferences and precisely 650,000 of them are either Aston or Villa, he’s not doing well. He needs help.