Ever since Tim Sherwood joined Aston Villa, those folks at Cartilage Free Captain, SB Nation's Tottenham Hotspur blog have played the pity card with us. When I asked them to sum up Sherwood back in February, manager Dustin Menno said:
"If you are an insane person who doesn't understand football, uses the word YOLO in everyday conversation, and appreciates heart, grit, and effort, then Tim is the manager for you. But you're probably not that person, so look elsewhere."
That's the kind of patronising malarkey that we've become used to in this "rivalry." I put that in quotes because it's not much of a rivalry. Since Sherwood was hired, Aston Villa have won every single match that they have played against Spurs, and that includes a perfect, unbeaten record at White Hart Lane.
And now that we've spent a whole summer expecting the arrival of Emmanuel Adebayor, I've had to keep hearing it. "Oh no, you poor Villans. I hope that doesn't happen to you!"
Pshaw, I say. Aston Villa are the best club in England and we have nothing to fear from anyone. So I challenged Dustin to a "friendly" bet for the 2015-16 season and beyond. With that in mind welcome to the 2015-16 Adebayor Cup! What is the Adebayor Cup, you may ask? Well, we've got that covered for you all right here in this handy explainer.
What is the Adebayor Cup?
The Adebayor Cup is the newest England bloggish derby. Made possible by the protracted transfer of Emmanuel Adebayor from Tottenham Hotspur to Aston Villa, this totally legitimate thing that we totally didn’t just make up is a competition between SBN’s Cartilage Free Captain, the blog representing Adebayor’s old team, and 7500 to Holte, the blog representing Adebayor’s destination club.
See, there’s a lot of connection between the two clubs. Tottenham’s former manager Tim Sherwood is now the manager at Villa. Villa’s starting right back, Alan Hutton, spent several years stinking up the right side of the pitch at White Hart Lane. And Spurs were, apparently, briefly in the running for Fabian Delph this summer before he f**ked off to City where he’ll sit the bench for all of eternity.
Hold it, I thought that deal fell through.
We don’t care. We’re doing it anyway. If we let something like "facts" stop us, we wouldn’t be blogs, now would we?
Who is participating in the Adebayor Cup?
This is a competition-slash-friendly-wager between the blog managers of Cartilage Free Captain and 7500 to Holte: Dustin Menno and Robert Lintott.
[Robert’s note: Heretofore known as "The Loser" and "The Winner," respectively][Dustin’s note: Whatever. Be sure to write your praise lyrics in iambic pentameter, because Harry Hotspur.]
Oh, so is it just the blogs, or are the teams aware of this?
It’s just the blogs. We think. Haha, just kidding. This is definitely official and signed off on by the clubs. They’ve agreed that the winning blog will actually get Adebayor as a permanent member of their writing staff.
What happens if Adebayor gets sold to the Estonian fourth division?
*cracks open champagne*
But the CUP WILL GO ON.
When will the Adebayor Cup happen?
A more appropriate question would be, "When won’t the Adebayor Cup happen?" This will continue for the entire season, from a few days ago until the final dying moments of the 2015-16 Premier League season. If necessary, we’ll take this into the FA Cup final.
And then, should we find that this is 1) enjoyable and 2) conducive to #banter, we will start anew. Think of this as being like the League Cup, in that it is annual, but more prestigious, in that it is not the League Cup.
What are the stakes of the Adebayor Cup?
The aforementioned inclusion of Emmanuel Adebayor as a member of the winning blog’s writing staff is the obvious prize here. Aside from that, we will follow these terms:
Boy, Chelsea sure do suck, don’t they?
GOD. They sure do.
Is the Adebayor Cup sponsored?
The Adebayor Cup is sponsored, nurtured, and enhanced by the bitter, delicious tears of Aston Villa football supporters.
THE BIGGEST AND BEST TEARS IN THE MIDLANDS SO SUCK IT WEST BROMWICH ALBION TEARS
How can I stream the Adebayor Cup on my computer/tablet/phone/carpet?
[REDACTED, posting of illegal streaming services is not allowed by SB Nation]