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We are nearing the end of a long season - and that’s been the thing about Aston Villa, right? Just getting to the end of another long, eventful season. Nothing’s ever quiet at Aston Villa, we all know that. We all have our opinions on what has gone on at the Villa over the past ten or fifteen years, and now we’ve ‘found’ a way to sum it all up.
However, it would be false and unfair to claim this idea as our own. Superior blog, Cartilage Free Captain ran with this type of thing in the past (and even mentioned Villa!), So take a look at their version, the original, and share the love. And hey, if they didn’t want us to run with the idea then maybe they could ask Tottenham to stay away from our players?
What’s the idea?
Well - I’ll let them explain.
Have you heard the expression “There’s a @dril tweet for everything”? It’s true. @dril is the undisputed king of “weird Twitter,” an anonymous internet celebrity who posts brilliant nuggets of foul-mouthed, intentionally (?) misspelled, bizarre content. The tweets are perfect non-sequiturs that, his followers believe, you can apply to virtually any situation. - Cartilage Free Captain
So, here’s the thing - we dragged through the timeline of @dril and evaluated tweets alongside Villa’s recent history. Here’s what we came up with. @dril as Villa’s recent history, the little and the small.
I hope you enjoy, if anything else.
The 2018 Play-Off Final
"this is going to sound so cool" i rev the engine and it explodes, leaving me rolling around on the road with a smouldering dick & ass crack
— wint (@dril) April 6, 2019
Keith Wyness on Twitter
Feeling very crapped on by my followers
— wint (@dril) April 10, 2019
Joleon Lescott post-Aston Villa
pal the only "meltdown" im having is my ice cream melting down into my hand while I lay on the beach & laugh while thinking about the trolls
— wint (@dril) January 9, 2016
John McGinn’s Villa career
feel as though i could break through most walls with my bare hands , given an unlimited amount of time and resources
— wint (@dril) March 7, 2019
Ron Vlaar’s Villa Career
i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points
— wint (@dril) May 18, 2019
The tactics of Steve Bruce
Beat the shit out of the football. Beat the shit out of the football. Beat the shit out of the football. 11 43 22 36 hothothothot
— wint (@dril) September 21, 2014
Barry Bannan’s ban
drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,
— wint (@dril) May 9, 2014
Micah Richards argues with Villa fans at Wycombe
DUMBASS: SHut the fuck up
— wint (@dril) June 26, 2017
THE WISE MAN: No you shut the fuck up
Villa vs HMRC in 2018
Food $200
— wint (@dril) September 29, 2013
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Aston Villa’s Summer 2015 Transfer Window
so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement
— wint (@dril) July 26, 2016
Steve Bruce when talking about his Villa transfer budget
the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up
— wint (@dril) December 19, 2014
Dr Tony Xia on Twitter
the most important part of any account on here is the posts. if you dont have the posts youre basically finished
— wint (@dril) April 12, 2019
And again:
"Why should there be only one good friday. Let's try our best to make all the Fridays good. Thank you" -a quote i invented which made me cry
— wint (@dril) April 3, 2015
Jack Grealish and Tyrone Mings at Villa
my Ass and my Nude Ass are two separate entities , both growing more Iconic in their own right , with each passing day
— wint (@dril) May 19, 2019
Dr Tony Xia facing a tax bill
(dismissing waitress handing me the check with a hand wave) no thank you. i dont believe in any of that
— wint (@dril) December 28, 2016
Adama Traore’s contribution to Aston Villa
my muscles begin to glow with the intensity of 100,000 sun` s. this can only mean one thing–––– there's trouble at the gym
— wint (@dril) April 25, 2013
Aston Villa Ladies
i now concede that girls may be allowed to wear UNDERARMOUR™ brand clothing; but only if they sign a contract stating its for sports reasons
— wint (@dril) August 20, 2018
James Nursey reacting to criticism of his Villa writing
"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
— wint (@dril) November 11, 2011
Tom Fox’s time as CEO
whats the job where you dress up like a michelin man and get attacked by vicious dogs. anyway thats the thing i spent $800000 at college for
— wint (@dril) July 29, 2014
Aston Villa’s 2015/2016 Premier League season
no
— wint (@dril) September 15, 2008
Gabby Agbonlahor after 2012
remembering the anguiush the girls had caused me when they said it was good to have "Dadbod"
— wint (@dril) November 7, 2018
Villa trying to sell Ross McCormack and Micah Richards
i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life
— wint (@dril) August 26, 2014
Well, you needed something weird with all of this serious and good Play-Off content? Right?