The latest installment in the long-running (and extremely edgy) PlayStation series, God of War was released to widespread critical acclaim over the past weekend.
Seriously, the game is picking up 10/10 across the board. The only poor reviews are seemingly coming from odd critics who wouldn't be impressed if they were dive-bombing a Blackbird, high as hell, while blasting Lynyrd-Skynyrd (a 5/10 experience, apparently).
Don't believe me? Here’s a review from our friends at Polygon. Full marks.
God of War is a tragedy. A tale based on the life and times of the Spartan killer, Kratos. Kratos is so good at killing, that he accidentally murdered his family while doing a war on behalf of the Greek God of war, Ares (we've all done it).
Kratos was a bit upset about this, so slapped Ares up and then became the new God of War. He did some other stuff, retired and is now stuck, retired and with a kid in Midgard. If you're keeping tabs, we are now in Norse mythology. Don't ask me when we stop off at Celtic mythology.
So, in the cold wastes of Midgard, we find our man. That's where the new game is set. Pick it up. It's good.
However, I’ve picked up something. Something that only a manic, introverted Aston Villa fan with minor anxiety issues can detect.
This is Kratos.
Kratos isn't Kratos.
He's Mile Jedinak.
Let's take a look again, at the same photo of 'Kratos' and a portrait view of Jedinak.
Here's Kratos. I want you to focus on the beard and nose, but especially that Fangorian beard. Christ. What a beard.
Now here's Jedinak. Try to take in the same features.
Kratos is Mile Jedinak. Either that or Mile Jedinak is Kratos. One is a Villa centre-back and the other is the God of War.
Which one is which? Our man is moonlighting as a flipping God.
Reader, I simply can't tell the difference. Consider me cut adrift from reality, wrapped in this eldritch confusion. Still, I absolutely think you should buy and play God of War. Even if you'd rather Mile spend his time training than severing Posiedon's head from his neck and punting it into the Aegean.
In all seriousness, it's good to see someone like Mile Jedinak immortalised into the pantheon of the Gods. He's been a man-mountain at points for Villa and is deserving of such a position, even if it's only in a video game produced by Sony.