You put your copy of Mundial down and turn to the papers, you’re browsing through, scoffing at transfer fees. ‘Game’s gone’, you mutter to yourself, ‘the game has fuck-ing gone’. Then you see a spot of Villa news - they Villans have only went and signed a Stoke-alona legend. Glenn Whelan. You’re having none of it - the long ball merchant. At Villa? Nah. Not on your watch. You open twitter - log into your account, which doesn’t show your face (it shows Henri Lansbury’s) and anonymously scream into the void. Fuck this, Villa are going nowhere!
The problem with Glenn Whelan is his name. If he’d grew up in Marseille, La Masia, Rio or anywhere but the mean streets of Clondalkin - he’d have hype. If he was anyone but Glenn Whelan, he’d have respect outside of Stoke and Ireland. Villa can give him that type of platform though, even in the Championship and the Irish pass master is the type of player who will get Villa out of a jam - and unstick the mud in the gears of Villa right now. Brought into replace and backup Mile Jedinak, Glenn can go further and dictate the tempo and be the midfield baller Villa need.