It’s the big day.
I mean, it’s not Christmas, Halloween or even the day we solve either the European refugee crisis or world hunger, but it’s still the big day.
Transfer. Deadline. Day.
In case you didn’t know, or your tin-foil hat is succeeding in beating back the airwaves propelled at sports fans by Sky, TDD is the day in which all transfer deals between clubs must be wrapped up and sealed. That’s it. It’s the final day your team can buy new players from other teams.
That’s all there is to it. But Sky, who have news channels and twitter accounts full of advertising that benefit from views and clicks, can never let the window of opportunity slip. It’s like at some point in time, Rupert Murdoch decided that instead of feeding off the lifeforce of the Human Race, he needed the sustenance that his team can provide by reporting on Steve Sidwell moving to Aston Villa on the 31st of August.
See, I don’t mean to let the clouds of nostalgia blind me - but I remember a deadline day that had a wink in it’s eye and a bit of a swagger to it’s stride. I remember things of substance actually happening and various rumours building up to that ‘thing of substance’. It was a organic narrative of stupidity and something you’d stay up for, because it was absolutely hilarious.
Sometime around 2012, the bandwagon surrounding TDD fell of its loyal horse, burst into flames and decided to roll over everyone - consuming everything in it’s path. Don’t believe me? Let’s just take a look at the #content Sky and TDD presenter, Jim White, have shat out:
First off, there was the ridiculous send-up of ‘Can’t Touch This’, where Jim says that ‘they’ve gone viral’, like his team didn’t work day and night to make that happen.
We’ve also got Sky trying to rope every single letter of the alphabet into their content cartel:
B is for Big Ben! Key words and phrases for #DeadlineDay: https://t.co/dtNpfJLTjV #SSNHQ pic.twitter.com/Kie86KOF0w— Sky Sports News HQ (@SkySportsNewsHQ) August 30, 2016
Then, Sky Sports decided to compare players with ridiculous statistics that verge on ‘made-up’:
SKY SPORTS HAVE JUST INCLUDED 'BRAVERY' AS A STAT TO COMPARE WILSHERE TO RAMSEY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. pic.twitter.com/TivyyRabwq— Billy Dunmore (@Dunmoreorless) August 30, 2016
Now we’re gearing up into the post-modern era of Deadline Day, where the Deadline Day is actually built up to like it’s some kind of pissing Bon Jovi concert and they have to soundcheck:
WATCH: Nat and Jim couldn't resist filming their dribbling skills @TheO2 while gearing up for #DeadlineDay https://t.co/KcEZEpLleU— Sky Sports (@SkySports) August 30, 2016
It’s not just Sky though - there’s this effort from the Mirror, which is a soundboard of comments you might hear Jim White say on the night of TDD. If you click loads at once, you might understand how I feel and why I unloaded a shotgun next to my ears so I can once more enjoy the sweet relief of total silence.
The Huddersfield Examiner are running a Jim White Bingo. You just can’t escape and at this point I’m not sure if Jim White is the issue or if it’s Sky’s inflated Deadline Day. The two just exist in this symbiotic relationship where both will wither and die without the other.
The best Deadline Day narratives are ones that unfold organically, without the meddling of Sky. It’s Adebayor taking word from ‘up high’ that Villa aren’t the team for him. It’s Peter Odemwingie getting locked out of Loftus Road. It’s Harry Redknapp getting overexcited and buying a Portuguese left-back for £17 million. Sky didn’t make these happen.
Instead, it hires a panel of experts, sends its reporters across the country and hopes that it stumbles on a story. The sad truth? Nothing actually happens inside their bubble, but they want to make you believe that it does.
Content should be created with some sort of purpose, there should be some base of a meaning. Instead we’ve been treated to a non-stop deluge of absolute nothingness.