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Preview: Villa look to end winless run in trip to Wycombe

It’s been a long time since Aston Villa did something good and I’m exhausted with respect to this side. Enjoy a preview that really doesn’t serve its purpose!

Jack Grealish takes the pitch in Wycombe during a pre-season contest in 2013.
Jack Grealish takes the pitch in Wycombe during a pre-season contest in 2013.
Michael Steele/Getty Images


If by "magic," you mean "playing Wycombe Wanderers to a draw so we have to face a replay" magic, you’re probably right!

Television executives could’ve picked literally any worthwhile team in the country this weekend to show on TV and they picked Aston Villa. Why?!?

What to know about Villa

*Bart Simpson enters, starts writing on chalkboard*

I will not wake up early to watch Aston Villa this weekend.
I will not wake up early to watch Aston Villa this weekend.
I will not wake up early to watch Aston Villa this weekend.
I will not wake up early to watch Aston Villa this weekend.
I will not wake up early to watch Aston Villa this weekend.

Seriously. Just don’t. This is a side that got outplayed in a must-win game at Sunderland last weekend. It’s a side that, despite a moment of brilliance from Carles Gil, still managed to lose 3-1 because they made Jermain Defoe look like he’s 25 again.

Like, Defoe is linked with a move away from Sunderland suddenly — despite being 33 — because Villa made him look so good. Consider that. It’s really incredible how incompetent this team is.

If you’re one of the people making the trip to High Wycombe for this one, full credit to you. You should probably visit a doctor or something just to make sure nothing’s wrong with you, but I’m proud of you. You’re irrational and that’s great. I love you for it.

Villa will probably start Alan Hutton again and if Brad Guzan leaves the XI, you’ve got… uh… 31-year-old Mark Bunn who can get a game! (I may or may not have had to double-check his name because that’s still such a bad, pointless signing a few months later. Thanks, Tactics Tim. You idiot.)

Maybe Micah Richards will actually start being a captain and doing what’s best for the club. Or maybe he’ll keep falling flat on his face — sometimes literally — as a centre back because he’s not good at it. Being the club captain of a side that goes down on 15 points isn’t a good way to work your way back into the England setup, Micah. I guess that’s just my opinion though.

Perhaps Jores Okore and Ciaran Clark can continue their bumbling track toward wasting the potential of their careers at this club.

Actually, to backtrack, Alan Hutton is out injured. My thoughts:

Villa can actually play with 11 men on the pitch rather than 10 Saturday, so that’s quite swell.

Jordan Ayew is back to fill the category of "the only good news Villa have this week." Yes friends, Villa really did buy the

Then again, if he keeps playing well, he’ll just be selling him in July, so is it really good news?

Adama is out injured for, like, two months. Yay football!

I think I’m broken.

My favorite thing that happened this week

So I wrote a thing about how we should stop blaming Tom Fox so much that a lot of people were upset about. You probably read it because, let’s face it, if you read these previews, you read everything on this site.

But through all the responses, I think my favorite one was this one:

Aye except, you know, the official club Twitter account did it:

I think I’m well within my bounds to call Villa the Claret and Blues.

What to know about Wycombe

Over 600 words and I really haven’t talked about the opponent. They’re a League Two side! What more should you need to know?

They occupy a playoff spot, sixth, in the fourth tier of English football at the moment and reached the Third Round of the cup after away wins at Halifax Town and Millwall.

Speaking of Millwall, remember that time they got to the semi-final and beat each other up in the stands? That was fun. Though that word really shouldn’t be in my vocabulary any more.

Midfielder Gerry Thompson has seven goals to lead Wycombe this term, while defender Michael Harriman has six to come in second. Odd, that. Prepare for him to snag a hat trick then or something like that. I’ll stop data dumping now though.

Side note: Wycombe’s light- and dark-blue quartered kit is one of the best in football. Shame I have to root against it.

Or do I?

The magic of the FA Cup!

Because nothing says “magical” quite like a proper title sponsor on the competition for the first time ever.

A year ago, Villa played in the final of this match. Supposedly. I sure as hell didn’t see them turn up.

The run to the cup final was a lot of fun and made an otherwise-terrible season a little better. With relegation more than likely, perhaps a cup run would be a bit of enjoyment — though we all laughed at Wigan when they went down, yet won the cup.

At the end of the day, I hold two competing ideas in my mind: Football is about winning things, so we should try to win. This team can’t survive a 38-match schedule, so adding six more in Europe to a 46-match campaign in the Championship is a miserable idea.

Oh well.

The prediction

I don’t feel like looking for odds for this. I’m sure they exist and you shouldn’t bet on Villa if they do.

This game has a draw written all over it, doesn’t it? The last thing Villa need are a replay, but they really don’t look good enough to beat the 74th-ranked club in England right now.

Gimme that sweet 2-2 scoreline and a return trip for Wanderers. Fun!