Wait no. I am writing this in the 67th minute of Aston Villa vs. Liverpool. There was a minute there after Rudy Gestede scored (with his feet!) that made it 2-1 and I thought maybe Villa could make something of this. But then something like sixty seconds later they let Daniel Sturridge get his brace. So I'm back. Anyhow. Liverpool scored in the 2nd minute (James Milner) and the 59th and 67th (Sturridge).
Wait no. Rudy Gestede just absolutely buried a beautiful header on a pass from Jordan Amavi. So it's 3-2 right now. I've never really written a recap quite like this. If stream-of-consciousness is not your thing, my apologies. But here in the 76th minute, it feels like Villa will find a way to return me to rage. (If you're following along, first "paragraph" was rage-written, as was the second. The third [this one] is an odd admixture of being perplexed and hopeful.)
Well, Villa are still holding on, and I guess this is how this recap is going to go. Really irritating to think that, if Villa defensive mids and centre backs hadn't combined for a 66th-second goal to Milner, Villa might actually be playing for three points right now instead of scrapping for one.
And now Villa have stupidly given away the ball numerous times after the 80th minute. Daniel Sturridge had two great chances and Danny Ings had one of his own. I'm not a scientist, nor have I done a rigorous study, but I think there is a VERY strong correlation between playing stupid football and playing bad football. Perhaps Villa should look into that.
It's the 90th minute, and Villa show no signs of completing the comeback. Because of course they don't. Why would they want points when they can play lazy, slow, inept, bad football? The board tells us that there are four minutes of added time to be played, so me hitting the "approve and publish" button will be delayed by at least 240 seconds. Oh and look, that's a chance for more sloppy passing that leads to making FREAKING FOUR GOALS BEFORE THIS MATCH LIVERPOOL look like a dangerous team.
And there is the whistle. The pain leaves my body and I leave the computer. Final score: Liverpool 3-2 Aston Villa.