If you were hoping that this weekend would provide some clarity in the race to survive relegation, I have some bad news for you. The bottom six teams all lost, and they all did so by one goal except for Burnley who let two past. So not only do we not see any changes in points, but relative to one another the goal differentials stay largely the same as well. Let's work our way through those teams in quick order now. You'll notice I've dropped Everton from our consideration because with the way everyone else is playing they could literally disappear from the face of the Earth and still be safe. We'll go bottom-up this time.
This weekend's result: A shockingly close 4-3 loss to Tottenham
Next up: a home match against West Ham United on April 4
The Foxes put up an incredible fight against a Spurs team who have been pretty darn good this year. They, of course, did nothing to stop the Premier League's joint-top scorer Harry Kane who scored a hat-trick. But that leads to my favorite statistic of them all. Since one of Tottenham's goals came on a Jeffrey Schlupp own goal, Leicester lost a match 4-3 in which they had four times as many goal scorers as did Tottenham! What a world we live in.
Oh, and the Foxes? Yeah, they're probably dead. They've got nine matches to get (at a minimum, I'd guess) fifteen points.
This weekend's result: A 1-2 home defeat to former relegation contender Everton.
Next up: A trip to West Bromwich Albion on April 4
You know what you probably shouldn't say as a manager of a team in serious danger of being relegated? This:
We talked about this last week, but if QPR have any chance of surviving they need to win their remaining home matches because dear God they're dreadful on the road. (Neat statistic: if QPR played the whole season like they have on the road they would have SIX POINTS.)
And they lost one of those home matches. Maybe that's why the players are low on confidence. In two week we all have to (shudder) cheer for West Brom. Another loss or two and I'm ready to officially declare QPR dead. Which is a good thing! It means that Villa really only have to be better than one of the next three non-Villa teams!
This weekend's result: Southampton 2-0 Burnley. Yeah, I think we all saw that coming.
Next up: They get to play at home on April 4! Yay! Against Tottenham. Boo.
Probably exactly the result we predicted for Burnley. A draw would have been huge for them, as it would have lifted them from the relegation zone, but I'm not too worried. That said, their next few matches are rough: Tottenham, Arsenal, and away to Everton. After that, though? Not too bad. If they don't get absolutely murdered in their next three and lose all confidence, they've got a chance of making up ground with a run in of Leicester, at West Ham, at Hull, Stoke, and at Villa.
Still too early to say much about these guys. Will they shock us with another result like their 1-0 over Manchester City? Or will they be the Burnley who got themselves to this spot in the first place.
This weekend's result: a much-needed 1-0 win... for West Ham.
Next up: They host Newcastle on April 4. Derby madness!
Well Dick Advocaat couldn't right the ship, but at least his side didn't let up four goals to one of the most offensively inept teams in Premier League history. This is looking more and more like the exact opposite of last season's Sunderland miracle team. Then: a team domed to be relegated save themselves in the final weeks of the season. Now: a team committed to boring mediocrity decide to say "eff it" and have a go at being terrible.
But they played Adam Johnson, so screw 'em.
This weekend's result: Sigh. 0-1 to Swansea.
Next up: A trip to Old Trafford on April 4. That'll make things better!
I'm so torn about this weekend's match. Given what happened elsewhere in the relegation race it was both 1) the absolutely perfect time to win and 2) the least painful time to lose. If you thought Villa were safe last week, you should be just a bit more sure of it now. Nothing changed and there is one fewer match to play. If you thought they were in trouble last week, you should be just a bit more worried about it now. Nothing changed and there is one fewer match to play.
What a weird result.
This weekend's result: a 2-3 loss at home to Chelsea
Next up: a trip to Wales to face Swansea on April 4
They were so close to pulling something out. It's not often that you give up two goals to Chelsea in the first ten minutes and live to tell about it, but Hull did just that. With answers in the 26th and 28th minutes, they looked as if they might get something out of this match. A draw, perhaps, or even a mind-boggling win. But then they gave Loic Remy a 77th minute goal and it was all over.
And you have to think that we've seen the last of the fight that Hull had left in them. They have three matches remaining where getting anything seems possible, and one of those is a trip to Swansea. Their only real hope at this point is that Sunderland, Villa, or Burnley do worse, because it's hard to imagine them staying up on the strength of their own results.
Poor Hull. If you're looking for a decent bet, though, you can get 3/1 on Hull being relegated. That's the safest money you'll ever get at those odds.