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5.5 to Holte Part Five: #Winning

Villa smash Mourinho's parked bus, the takeover continues and James wings it. It's 5.5 to Holte

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You can catch up on the previous editions here.

3 wins on the bounce. 3 wins in a row. Life is good. Who ever is taking over this club has to keep me now, I'm on fire. Ever since the mopey loss at Newcastle, we've hit a new vein of form and I'm actually pretty confident now, going into my next game at the Etihad (Which I feel quite happy to lose). Of course, we are beaten and my counter-attack doesn't work, mainly because Carlos Sánchez is 'having trouble blending in with the squad'. He's a Colombian for crying out loud, I don't expect him to rock up to the chip shop with Gabby and order a few scallops. That will come with time.

Chelsea and Mourinho come to Birmingham expecting to win, but I've got something else planned. I set out to annoy and defend, making sure Hutton and Cissokho lock up the wings and try not to do the renegade wing back shiz I've made them do for the past five matches. Should have thought ahead really. 3 minutes into the match, Jacky Grealish scores and we beat Mourinho at his own game. Complain to a referee about that, Jose. He obviously does and gets a fine, whilst I laugh myself into another 3 points.

Weimann has got himself injured, so Kozak will once again have to step up and step up he does. Even though we lose to Liverpool and Sunderland, we perform at a high level. Bring on the Baggies.

Oh god. The Baggies. Have you ever heard such a terrible nickname for a team? No! Me either. Baggies sounds like a slur you would direct at an abuser of drugs, not something you'd be proud of. Vlaar and Delph paste them. I'm chuffed about the 3 points, but even more happy about what I see on the news when I get home.

Harry's been sacked. Get out the kitchen if you can't handle the heat, bitch.

I feel sorry for the old geezer, he's got a family to support. I offer him a contract as a coach and he rejects. When he's managing Walsall in League 2, I bet he will think about my offer as he has many a sleepless night.

My joy is cut short by a text from Randy. It's just three little letters, but I'm nervous as hell.


Next time on 5.5 to Holte - Phil is on the scene, James argues the transfer budget and Delph signs a deal.