It's a steady start. 1 point out of 3 in October and hopefully the six goals in two games have got the fans off of my back, for now. As for the players? Guzan has been on an absolute mad one. He must have saved over eight certain goals in the last couple of games. Roy has also been a revelation, letting him take the team talks has got the team going. They won't respect me, but I'm not one to break legs. Roy will. Roy doesn't care.
There has been one little hiccup. Nathan Baker has begged for more games, but he's playing like his new Nikes are greased with butter. He's given away too many fouls, but I can't take any more morale dips. Nathan gets his way like a little spoilt rich kid. Matt Lowton asked the same and of course, I had to let him. Nathan and Matthew replace Jores and Hutton for the next few games. I thank my lucky stars that they didn't kick off in the office. I'd have had to sell them to Watford. My training sessions have broke down into me and Roy nipping up to HMV to buy 'The Best of Barcelona' DVD's and telling the squad to watch it on repeat. I think it's working.
The next match is a visit from Tottenham Hotspur and 'fancy pants' Mauricio Pochettino. He didn't mouth off to the papers like Harry, so I went easy on him. That meant putting Libor Kozak in for the unfit Benteke. I'm hoping for another point here, steady as she goes! That one point turned into three as Cissokho and the super sub Benteke sink the fancy footballers. Roy is well happy and no-one gets hurt, not yet anyway. Stuff your continental football on a croissant, Mauricio - welcome to football. 4-3-3 gets the job done again.
More Londoners come to Villa Park a week later. We ease past West Ham with a 1-0. The 4-5-1 didn't work as well as I'd hoped and we got lucky. At half time I change back to the 4-3-3 and stick Gabby up front. Of course, I'm a genius and he scores. West Ham fans take the 3 hour trip home to contemplate their future as we hold each and every attack back. We finish October with 7 out of 9 points. Benteke did take a knock in the second half, but he walked off. He should be fine..
I can't be happier and run around the dressing room in excitement. I kick a boot and Guzan catches it. That man should be the U.S.A's nuclear deterrent, he catches everything. Roy takes the team-talk and I'm wanted, it seems. The press want a tunnel interview. Aly Cissokho is out there with him.
"Well done on today's win James. I'm here to present you and Aly with the Barclaycard Player of the Month award and the BarclayCard Manager of the Month Award."
Drop the mic, hold the phone - I bet Harry is crying at home. Me and Aly run back into the changing room like little excited boys, but things are about to take a turn for the worse...
The team physio approaches me like a kid who's only gone and opened his Xmas presents a week beforehand.
"Boss?" He says. Sweat runs down my forehead. I know what's coming - Benteke had fallen down in the second half and Kozak had to suit up to replace him.
"Yes?" I enquire with the gulp heard around the world. I can hear the screams from here. It sounds like bloody Gregor Clegane is being operated on in there.
"It's Christian. He's hurt, badly.."
"He's gone for the year boss".
I drop to my knees and curse the gods. They have given me a foul harvest.
I don't even care that we lose 2-1 to Newcastle in the next match. I've had to play Weimann in Benteke's place and he's been his usual goalless self. I have no solution to this problem and no-one's going to want a crocked Belgian in January. Maybe I can flog him for 5 Million, but that's not Will Hughes money.
A call comes in. Randy's got an offer to sell the club.
Looks like my time is near. All or nothing. With or without the big Belgian, if Villa are selling, I'm going to prove I'm worth keeping.
Next Time on 5.5 to Holte: James manages for his life, Kozak fills in and will Randy sell?