It's Tuesday. My car is still at the club valet. (Not really, sorry Katy.) It's time for some numbers. Let's have some fun...
People named Christian Benteke that played for Aston Villa against Manchester City. This is good. Aston Villa are bad going forward — as I mentioned in last week's Numbers, Villa have created just 36 chances in seven matches. That's 14 fewer than Swansea City, who sit 19th. It's also absolutely horrendous.
The good news? Villa's best offensive player in some time returned as a substitute last weekend — and is likely in line to start against Everton this week. Happy news!
Number of birthday cakes Gabby Agbonlahor got for his birthday, Number of birthday cakes Yaya Toure got for his birthday. It wasn't the prettiest cake in the world but at least we love our leading Premier League goalscorer more than Manchester City love arguably the best midfielder in the world — or at least he might have been when "Cakegate" occurred.
Gabby's going to be around for the next four years whether we like it or not and, well, we probably should considering he's already been at Villa for 20. Whatever keeps him happy keeps us happy. I guess?
Year in which Jack Grealish
will leave on a free contract sign another contract with the defending Premier League champions after his final year of his recently-signed extension. We're being happy, right? Cool! Grealish will be at Villa for the next four seasons after penning a new contract today. This is an ideal situation for Villa. There was some interest from Chelsea but Paul Lambert and company held it off to keep Grealish at his boyhood club.
The better part of the news? Jack himself will actually get the chance to develop as a player and won't be playing next term at Vitesse in the Eredivisie, only to eventually be sold two years later to whatever second-tier Bundesliga club wants an Irish-English midfielder. Chelsea develops talent to re-sell at a higher price, not to actually use. It's good for Jack that he's steered clear of Stamford Bridge.
Also, Villa keeps a sex icon.
Days since Roy Keane shaved his beard. We're ending the happy Numbers on a bit of a sad note as Roy Keane shaved his beard in advance of Republic of Ireland's EURO 2016 qualifier last Friday.
This is probably Martin O'Neill's doing. Screw that guy.
We'll be back next week with a probably, maybe, slightly more serious version of Villa in Four Numbers? I mean, we'll be analyzing Benteke's double hat-trick in an 8-0 Villa win over Everton, right?