Get your bids in now for Christian Benteke

Worried that Aston Villa aren't moving quickly enough on selling Christian Benteke, an enterprising fan has put the striker on sale himself. Yes, Benteke is now for sale on eBay, although you're going to have to meet the club's asking price of £25m. Sorry, Daniel Levy, but this is not the way to get a better deal on the Belgian.

As of noon on Thursday, Benteke has 58 bids, although the price has reached just £700,300. But for those who want their very own Benteke to, I don't know, fetch them drinks or help their local side progress in the FA Cup, this just might be an excellent deal: you don't have to pay postage! Just think of how much more expensive this purchase might be if you had to pay to send a 1.9m man through Royal Mail.

eBay is also kind enough to note that, if you have your own Benteke to sell, you can go ahead and sell him on their site. How very sweet. But really, if you're carting around your own large Belgian striker, hows about you bring him directly to Paul Lambert. Just think how fun it would be to watch Benteke 1.0 sulking on the bench, watching Benteke 2.0 score 20 goals next season.

*Thanks to alert reader Roy Tibbetts for the heads up; the original eBay posting is down to My Old Man Said.