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Randy Lerner Delivers Message Consisting of Words; Little Substance

Fans of floundering Aston Villa have been clamoring to hear something, anything from their owner Randy Lerner while the team helplessly tries to stay afloat. He finally broke his silence but what did he really say?

Clive Rose

While the claret and blue side of Birmingham figuratively burns and embattled manager Paul Lambert continues to tell everyone who will listen that there's no money and no new players on the horizon fans have become increasingly restless. Where is Randy Lerner? He hasn't been showing up to Villa Park. He hasn't been speaking to the press. He hasn't sent me any IMs. No pokes via Facebook. No Twitter direct messages. Not even an instagram of his breakfast.

While it's easy to scream at the man sitting atop this mess to DO SOMETHING and to FIX IT it doesn't quite work that way. In a fit of rage one may demand to speak to the manager but the best you're really going to do is get a coupon to come back to the place you're so unhappy with in the first place. With regards to Villa, you're not getting any coupon. You're not even getting an apology.

Lerner finally broke the silence this afternoon in a statement you can find by clicking on this different colored section of words. He unleashed very few words of semi-corporate jargon and belief that Paul Lambert can achieve the success he has had before he took over the Villa post. What he didn't say is the following:

  • "I have just learned of a Nigerian prince who was interestingly enough related to me and also listed me as his heir for a considerable fortune. Let's buy some French players!"
  • "I have purchased all of the players from Southampton, Reading, and Wigan and ensured they can no longer compete."
  • "I'm selling the team to my cousin. He's from Saudi Arabia and owns half the world's oil."
I'm sure Villa fans everywhere can rest easy now that they've got what they wanted. A pointless, ineffectual statement that says absolutely nothing that we didn't already know. Villa won't be signing any big names to come in and 'save the season'. They won't be firing Paul Lambert. They won't be doing much of anything. At this point if you're looking for a magical solution you had better stab your own eyes out because that's about as good as it's going to get.