Catch Villans On International Duty: Tuesday Schedule, TV Guide

Don't worry, everyone -- "real" football returns this weekend. But until then, satisfy your desire to watch a ball fly around an enclosed area by catching Aston Villa players in action across the world (hey, it's kinda neat to say that) (now we just need some South American players) (hint Villa hint). Here's how to watch:

Jordan v Australia

17:00 UK: British Eurosport 2

12:00 ET / 9:00 PT: Eurosport International (the US has this channel?)

Yes to Brett Holman, no to Chris Herd.

Hungary v Netherlands

20:30 Holland: SBS 6

19:30 UK: nowhere

14:30 ET / 11:30 PT: ESPN3

First Netherlands played Turkey. Now they play Hungary. There's a good joke in here somewhere. It probably has to do with Ron Vlaar's appetite. Our Villan was on for just the last four minutes of Holland's 2-0 win, so let's hope he gets a bit more time against Hungary, who lead the group after defeating Andorra 5-0. As though that's hard.

Belgium v Croatia

20:45 Belgium: Club RTL, Canvas

19:45 UK: Nowhere. I would also like to note that Croatia is not showing the match, although Bosnia is. Odd.

14:45 ET / 11:45 PT: ESPN3

Are we still acknowledging Christian Benteke as a player? Or are we waiting for that legal mess to pass? Anyway, Benteke remained on the bench for Belgium's easy 2-0 win over Wales, but with both these sides on top in Group A, things should be fun.

England v Ukraine

20:00 UK: ITV1, UTV

15:00 ET / 12:00 PT: Fox Soccer Channel, Fox Deportes, delayed on Fox Soccer 2go

Ok, I know there are no more Villans on the England squad. But I'm not so deluded to believe that most of you won't be watching this match. Can the Three Lions improve on their 5-0 win over Moldova?

Scotland v Macedonia

20:00 UK: Sky Sports 1

15:00 ET / 12:00 PT: ESPN3

What's that? You're Scottish, not English? Ok, you Andy Murray fans, here's your match. Let's hope it's a better one than the dour goalless draw with Serbia.

USA v Jamaica

1:00 Wednesday UK: Go to sleep, you crazies.

20:00 ET / 17:00 PT: ESPN2, Galavision, ESPN3

The United States have one just once in their group and currently sit third, having just lost the reverse fixture 2-1. I'm not saying Eric Lichaj would be a miracle worker, but could he really be any worse for this side?