Aston Villa Football Club and Stoke City Football Club contested a game of foot ball at Villa Park in Birmingham, England on the day of April the Twenty-Third, Year of Our Lord Two-Thousand and Eleven. The Stoke City squadron gained an early advantage thanks to a Herculean throw from mid-fielder Rory Delap that ever so gracefully dropped onto the head of Center Forward Kenwyne and past former New World international Brad Friedel. A raucous period of fantastic excitement followed, the Stoke City gentlemen summoning the spirit of man's equine brethren and advancing the ball down the pitch with great enthusiasm. The Aston Villa side had a trick up their sleeve, with Darren Bent (quite inexplicably playing on a line all by himself as opposed to supporting four of his comrades) heading towards goal, rather than aimlessly downfield, clearly confusing the Stoke City goalsman and leveling the terms.
The sides appeared to have reached a gentlemanly agreement between halves, agreeing that a one-to-one result was the most civilized outcome, and the second half of the contest was a good-natured contest to determine which of the 22 lads could advance the ball the greatest distance before the inevitable drop.
A smashing time was had by all.