Jean Makoun Uses Ban To Take In Arsenal Vs. Barcelona, Hang Out With Alex Song

According to Jean Makoun, he and Arsenal midfielder Alex Song are like brothers. They both grew up in the same town in Cameroon and both play for the national team. Apparently Makoun is also best buds with Tottenham Hotspur players Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Sébastien Bassong. Is it just me, or does this rundown of names make people fear for the hair on Makoun's head?

No word on Song's style profile. I tried a Kickette search, but "Alex Song" kept leading me to photos of Alex Gerrard, and it's really too early for accidental glimpses of Stevie G. Rest assured that if Song isn't up to snuff, Makoun will be leading him off to Bond street the morning after the match.

This story paints a wonderful cinematic scene. Makoun, sitting in the seats at the Emirates, watching as Arsenal try and fail to stop Barcelona. He wistfully reflects back on his days at Lyon, and even at Lille, remembering his Champions League goal scored against Iker Casillas. The memory montage than makes way to a new scene: Makoun, clad in claret and blue, taking on Valencia in the knockout stages of the tournament. There's Makoun, he's winning the ball, he's sending it off to Ashley Young, who puts it through to Darren Bent, who SCORES AND OH MY VILLA ARE THROUGH TO THE QUARTER FINALS.

Yeah, there are quite a few things wrong with that scenario, I imagine. But nothing quite as bad as Mat Kendrick's pun in the story I stole all the actual factual information from:

Jean Makoun is hoping his favourite Song will cheer him up and provide some light relief from his red-card shame tonight.