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Andy Marshall Brings the News: Gabby healthy, Heskey for life, and more

Sure, he lumbers around the pitch, but he DOES look dapper.
Sure, he lumbers around the pitch, but he DOES look dapper.

Hey there everyone. Sorry I didn't get to the news yesterday. I was too busy sleeping and getting ready for my big match this weekend. But you'd know all about my FIFA-capades if you followed me on Twitter. I promise to let you know ALL of the cool things in my life. At least until I get bored of telling you about them.

Anyhow, I should probably tell you about the news, shouldn't I? The most important bit is that should-be England strike Gabby Agbonlahor should be healthy for this weekend's match. I was hoping he'd stay out. Without him, City could focus even MORE on attacking, and they might make Given and Guzan look bad. Then it'd be time for big bad Andy. Buggerall. Also worth noting there that Nathan Delfouneso is going to miss the game. Maybe our other Andi will get to see the field. I can never get the dude to tell me about all the Koalas in Austria. What a jerk.

But with Gabby back, it seems like no one is afraid of the City. Ole ginger-pants-McLeish thinks the team can come back unbeaten. Yeah, and I'll see the pitch for a Premier League side again.

Speaking of the ginge, he mentioned something about bringing Emile Heskey back. You know, our striker who has the turning radius of a man-of-war that's missing it's hull. Go ahead and get your shirts ready. Realistically this can't be all bad. We'll be able to measure our goals more easily now. If Ivanhoe can put the ball in, it's too high.

Finally, some little boy in an Aston Villa kit is really disappointed that he hasn't helped the team more this year. I think it's adorable when these children feel they might have an impact on the game. Just precious.