Aston Villa Bid Rejected For England Under-21 Goalkeeper Joe Lewis, Interested In Tottenham Striker Roman Pavlyuchenko

Jumping Jehosaphat! If only there was enough time in the day to write a story on every player every tabloid claim Aston Villa had an interest in. Granted, those papers are around to sell something to hide your face as you ride the tube, but today's buzz includes a couple names that could actually make sense for the Villa. Well, even a dumb squirrel has to find a nut every once in a while, right?

First up we've got Villa looking closely at Roman Pavlyuchenko, which would be amazing for reasons other than I'd finally have an excuse to buy the Russian national kit that doesn't involve the words "Andrei Arshavin". Pav may be inconsistent, but please show me a Villa striker that is not. I'm convinced that 'Arry Rednapp simply likes using players up front that he can understand, and considering it's unlikely that Gerard Houllier can understand much of what comes out of anyone at Villa Park's mouth, that sort of prejudice won't be occurring around here. Bring on the Russian! Let me start thinking of some jokes relating to a bell and salivating! (Those must've been made already. Right?)

Next we have Aston Villa's rejected bid for Joe Lewis, the Peterborough and England U-21 goalkeeper. Yes, both of these stories come from the Daily Fail. But again, why wouldn't Villa be looking for a keeper? It's not a requirement that we sign one during January, but with Brad Guzan off at Hull City, I'm sure I'm not the only one getting fidgety seeing Andy Marshall on the bench. Plus, he probably has friends here, what with the Villa always seeming to go hang out at the U-21 games and occasionally put the ball in the net.

But really, I'm sure this was a last minute bid of desperation, what with Aston Villa withdrawing their bid for Ben Foster as fast as possible yesterday.

Thanks to @ohitmustbe for sharing this gem so quickly on twitter yesterday. All hail the hero of the Carling Cup semi-final!