There's a school of thought (admittedly, a crazy school of thought) that believes you can rid yourself of the past and start the future anew if you simply gather everything that reminds you of your pain and suffering, put it in a (nonflammable) container, and throw in a match.
So let's build a virtual fire, Villans, and watch it burn. Perhaps a phoenix will rise from the ashes and carry us to glory? Or maybe it will be Omar Cummings. Either way, my list is below the jump. Add your burnable items in the comments.
- Carling Cup t-shirt straight from Wembley (keep hold of the confetti from the Blackburn semi-final. That part was cool)
- Match Day program from Stamford Bridge, dated March 27 2010
- The stretcher that carried Fabian Delph away from training with a cruciate ligament injury
- Martin O'Neill's tracksuit
- James Milner's kit from the West Ham season opener
- The lottery slip that came out reading "Rapid Vienna"
- John Carew 's boot from his painful missed penalty against Newcastle
- Stephen Ireland 's contract
- Emile Heskey 's medical tape, as it's clearly doing nothing. In fact, perhaps we should just throw on the team physio and doctor, just in case.
- Seats from St. Andrews. Oh wait, I think that's already been done.
- That accursed captain's armband (Stiliyan Petrov --injured. Nigel Reo-Coker --injured. Richard Dunne --pouty face. Ashley Young --injured. I think James Collins is ok, though.
Ok, now I'm just depressed and unable to think of more stuff to burn. Your turn.