GUESS WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY?
Boy, do I love that Royal Mail postmark, and it certainly not disappoint me today.
It may be too early for Christmas, but a certain nice person allowed me to open the gift early, probably so I didn't continue drinking my weight in mojitos to try to forget law exams. Anyway, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, this is what was in the envelope:

The transatlantic visitor, clearly starved for a ciggie fix after what, something like 96 hours being stuffed inside a box, immediately took a liking to the porch:

His natural habitat is clearly the dead plants
But he consented to come in and help me do some studying. Until he got distracted by Ezequiel Lavezzi.
Which is a problem that anyone could have, really
So little gnome dude has had a rough day.
And to top it all off, he doesn't even have a name.
If it were up to his owner, he'd be named "Marbury" or "Madison" because she has no space in her brain for anything else...so you guys need to step up and help.
What should the 7500 to Holte gnome be named? Should he be a current star? An overlooked benchdweller? An Aston Villa legend? A word connected with the club? Something Scottish and twee?
It's all you. Go for it.
(I reserve the right to nix any references to a ginger midfield bench warmer)