'Twas the Night before Kickoff

David Rogers

Two years ago, I composed a little something in preparation for Aston Villa's first match of the 2011-12 season against Fulham. I thought it needed a little updating for this season. Enjoy.

Twas the night before Kickoff, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Brum fan's louse.
The kits were hung in the locker room with care,
In hopes that the Villa soon would be there.

The supporters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of internet streams danced in their heads.
And mama in her Benteke kit, and I in my scarf,
Prepared for another Villa season that hopefully wouldn't make us barf.

When out on the pitch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to which Villan had sprained their bladder. (And is out 2-4 weeks.)
Away to the window, I ran like Andi Weimann,
I prepared to hear the sighs and "whys" of the fans.

The moon shined a light on the newly-rolled out grass
Gave way to the sight of a man of great mass
I saw him first when the lights gave a flare,
It was Christian Benteke, and he was fighting a bear.

He was a giant Belgian, who didn't transfer
I knew in a moment, he didn't play for Spurs.
I waved to him to show him I gave him no blame
And he nodded, and shouted, and called the team by name!

"Now Guzan, now, Andi, now, Lowton! Go Play!
On, Luna On, Gabby! On Ron! No, not you Shay!
To the top of the table! to the FA Cup Final!
Now dash away! And please, no injures that are spinal!"

And then, in a twinkling, there on the sidelines
I heard the manager, giving his players some guidelines
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
There was Paul Lambert, standing his ground.

He was dressed all in a tracksuit, from his head to toe,
He gave the impression that he would be a tough foe.
A bundle of trophies, he had won while playing,
It was at Dortmund where he was most amazing.

He was Scottish, a midfielder, and probably liked some beers,
He had done quite a lot, and won that trophy with the ears.
As a manager, his teams often played a style so fun,
Like we saw against Sunderland, when Villa won 6-1.

When he was mad he could look ho so scary,
But when happy, he lit up, you could tell he was merry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the voice that he spoke showed him to be from Glasgow.

When he left for this club, it made Norwich fans mad,
But after last season, it was they who were glad.
Villa had struggled, and Norwich started well,
But in the second half of the season, it was the Canaries who fell.

Villa finished quite well, and gave hope for next year,
They signed some players and eased many fears.
Paul hoped the team this year wouldn't be quite as lame,
He gave me a nod and it was time to start the game.

And there and then, I saw the man known as "Stan",
I had to go tell him that I was a fan.
But I heard him exclaim, in a way that was witty,
"Happy kickoff to all, and lets all laugh at Birmingham City!"

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