Aston Villa vs. Everton, Match Review: A List Of Things I'd Have Preferred To Be Doing Instead

Take an aerobics class led by Shay Given. (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)

This morning, as is usually my routine on matchdays, I woke up around 8:30, drove my wife to work, came home, made breakfast and watched Aston Villa. Some days, I kind of wish I'd found out the score by accident. Today was one of those days. That's not to say this was a bad result; it's good to stop the losing skid at home, and the team's performance today reinforced some beliefs about their struggles I've developed recently which I've hoping to write about soon, but suffice to say I think confidence is the overwhelming factor in every Villa performance (good or bad.) I'm not unhappy, it's just that save for a few moments of real brilliance (Donovan's ball to Anichebe, a few very clever touches and moves by Ireland) this was just a dreadfully boring game with Villa being far from alone in their culpability.

With that said, I present to you a non-comprehensive lists of things I would have likely found more enjoyable (or at least a better use of my time) than this game.

  • Washing the car. (This is one barely counts, to be fair; I really like washing the car.)
  • Hand-washing my hand-washables.
  • De-labeling and rinsing the glass recyclables.
  • Spending two hours at the office.
  • Watch a replay of Millwall-Birmingham. (Aside: ugh.)
  • Watch a replay of Liverpool-Stoke, if only to feel smugly self-superior in my consistently stated belief that Liverpool are mind-numbingly boring.
  • Reorganize the scarf-and-hat closet.
  • Attempt to trim the cat's claws. (Bonus: guaranteed scar, which the chicks totally dig.)
  • Attempt to give the cat a bath. (Bonus: finally take advantage of that $25 ER co-pay I pay extra for.)
  • Discuss politics with my mother.
  • Drink a can of Budweiser Chelada.
  • Catch up on the latest Scottish Premier League "action" so long as it only involves watching highlights.
  • Watch curling. (See the first parenthetical explanation on this list.)
  • Pose open questions about the problems with soccer in the United States on Twitter. (Seriously, everyone should try this. Once. And never again.)
  • Go into a Forever XXI. Alone. (The sheer thought of this is terrifying on at least three different levels.)
  • Play Smear the Queer with Alan Hutton.
  • Go on a product run for Mark Clattenburg.
  • Attempt to assure Landon Donovan he just has a naturally high hairline and I'm sure no one notices.

Wolves up next. We could really do with three points.

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